Risible

Goggle is your friend

2011-09-21T20:36:00.001+08:00

There is no need to keep yourself equipped with knowledge about the world, no need to read up to enlarge your information bank, no need to keep yourself abreast of the current affairs, because today, when someone asks you a question, you could simply reply, “Go google it.”

So I ran today

2011-08-11T01:19:00.002+08:00

It’s been a long while since I have run. Besides keeping fit and in good shape, running helps me to think clearer, to relax. I quite enjoy running, though most of the times, I have to drag myself to run, due to the flab on my belly becoming more outstanding, only to find out that, while running, that it can be stimulating. After runs, I would feel refreshed and energised, ready to conquer any obstacles ahead! Well, they are usually merely assignments.

So I ran today. Right after lessons, I went back to hall quickly, got changed and began my run. It was actually my inaugural run in the NTU Sports and Recreational Centre (SRC). Though I’ve been to this place before as I have had floorball games here, I didn’t quite have a good look at the place. NTU SRC was indeed a sports hub. It encompassed many sport facilities; basketball courts, swimming pools, squash courts, you name it – a paradise to sports fanatics like me. I could visit this place every day and try out different sport each time. I must comment that NTU SRC is quite a lively place, especially at the basketball courts where I noticed guys and girls playing together. In NUS, this would be quite a rare sight. One can hardly spot girls playing sports unless they are obliged to due to training for the Inter-Varsity Games or Inter-Hall Games. If not, one won’t be able to see girls playing sports. Jogging, swimming and exercising in gyms don’t count, because those girls just want to be in good shapes.

So I ran today. I decided to run non-stop for 30 minutes. I had not run for close to 2 weeks and I considered that I might not be physically conditioned enough to run any longer. If not, I would have tried for 45 minutes. Well, I guess I shall leave that for another day. May that day come soon, I hope.

So I ran today. 15 rounds round the NTU track within 32 minutes. That’s 6 km! Well, it’s pretty normal actually. It’s not even 20 percent of a normal marathon distance. It’s not that I am training to run one. It's just that the distance 6 km is not even considered a feat to seasoned runners. 6 km, to me, is an accomplishment already. After the run, I did some static exercises and explored the compound again before strolling back to hall.

So I ran today, and I felt so satisfied. I am looking forward to my next run. It shall happen next week.

World Peace

2008-12-15T02:42:00.005+08:00

I came home late last night. I was quite bored, so I turned on the TV to see if there’s anything interesting or at least something that is able to hold my attention for a little longer.

Ok there was Miss World 2008 on Channel 5… *switch* some Jackie Chan movie on Channel 8… *switch* some Jacky Wu’s variety show on Channel U… WHAT?!?! Miss World?

My first priority is always to know the events happening around the WORLD. Who cares if Jackie Chan can fight off 10 men at one time or Jacky Wu’s lame jokes, the WORLD comes first. I need to know the issues about our WORLD, so I switched back to Channel 5.

But to my sheer disappointment, it’s actually a show where beautiful, gorgeous women parade in tiny bikinis and designers’ night gowns, where they smile constantly no matter where they are or what they’re doing.

One thing I don’t understand is that they smile a lot, ( so much that you could sense their cheek muscles cramping anything soon) but when it is announced that they’re the winner, for that split moment, they cry.

Sometimes they try to cover their mouths or faces to hide their initiate expressions, as if they cannot accept the result. The runners-up, on the other hand, display wide, enchanting smiles. “Phew, I am just here for the fun and experience. 2nd place is good enough. I don’t have to waste one year doing charity work.”

Of course I wasn’t exactly disappointed looking at beautiful girls. But what’s with Miss World competition? Didn’t we just have had the Miss Universe competition held in Vietnam not long ago? And why must there be 2 very similar or should I say identical competitions? In fact, both have the swimsuit and evening gown contests, the Q&A for the final 5 finalists and many other similarities. They are exactly the same but just competitions with different names.

Can you imagine a few months after World Cup 2006 ended, there is the Universe Cup 2006? It is where the same countries compete against one another again, playing the same game of soccer, with same rules and with same system all over again?

There’s even another competition called Miss Earth, a third-grade pageant competition, where the contestants are mainly Miss World/Universe rejects or maybe they just have strong passions to make to Earth a better place to live in.

Are there anymore such contests?

How about a Miss Globe contest? Or Miss Solar System? Or is there a Miss Milky Way competition currently being held on the Jupiter planet right now? And who gets to represent Earth if there is really one such competition? Is it Miss World or Miss Universe or Miss Earth?

As the name suggests, Miss Earth gets my vote. In addition, Miss World and Miss Universe should be banned. Where are the representatives from Mars and Saturn? Aren’t they part of the world and universe too? It’s no wonder there are always stories of aliens attacking Earth. I can imagine some Martians observing us from afar, cursing, “How dare those Earthlings not include us as part of the universe?! What disrespect! We are going to show them who real the boss is. Let’s attack them!”

I continued watching nevertheless.

In case some of you don’t know, this year’s Miss World is held in Johannesburg, South Africa. When the top 15 finalists were announced, Miss South Africa was one of them. Then it reminded me that not long ago during the Miss Universe 2008 held in Vietnam, Miss Vietnam was one of the top 15 finalists too. And for the many past Miss Universe competitions, the representative from the host country will always reach the top 15.

Then I wondered: Is there such a thing as home advantage in pageant competitions? Well, home advantage usually has a huge influence in sports where the home team, being cheered on by the home crowd, is more likely to perform better than the away team. It’s like during the recent Olympics in Beijing, China, for the first time, managed to win the most number of gold medals.

As for Miss World/Universe, do the pageant contestants really tend to look better in their homeland? So much so that they are able to garner a place in the semi finals? I don’t see how the home crowd can affect their performances or appearances. The panel of judges comes from different countries. Obviously they are expected to be unbiased towards any of the contestants. “Wow, the crowd seems to cheer the loudest when Miss South Africa comes on stage, I think I will go with the crowd and give her the highest marks.”

Then the 5 finalists were announced. Miss India, Miss Trinidad & Tobago, Miss Angola, Miss Russia and, to the delight of the home crowd, Miss South Africa. It’s Q&A time. Everyone except Miss Russia answered in English. Apparently, Miss Russia who is not well versed in English, brought translator with her. What a smart move that was.

When asked why she should be crowned Miss World 2008, Miss Russia answered confidently, “Я думаю, что я могу помочь людям, и я хочу помочь людям и сегодня если я уйду с этой короной, то я сделаю это.”

For those who are unfamiliar with the Russian language, Miss Russia could be saying, “I am so fed up with this competition lah. I miss home. I miss my Papa, my Mama and my little puppy. I miss the Russian food. Oh mama mia, I can’t wait for all of this to end leh. I wanna go home!” After that, she charmed the audience with her megawatt smile, while her translator who spoke fluently in English said, "I want to help people and today if I walk away with this crown I will do that."

Today, translators play an important part in beauty contests. If you have a bimbo representative for your country, make sure she declares she cannot speak English well and get a quick witted translator for her. “Ok so now it is Miss United Kingdoms’ turn for Q&A and she has brought with her a translator. Now your question is …..”

Soon after, it was announced that Miss Russia won the Miss World 2008 title and that gives her the license to help people. It’s like you even need a pretty face to help the needy or do charity work. “Opps sorry, Kate, you are not good-looking enough to help the orphans, build toilets for disaster-torn places or educate the world about AIDS. We not only need to do good, but to look good as well.”

-doubleU

Examania

2006-12-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

IT’s really time I should update this blog.

I’ve just ended my exams. Actually it’s already been a week since then. There’s some things I’ve noticed people do during the exams which I don’t quite understand. Like for example, before we start the papers, the chief examiner would always remind us, “Please ensure that you do not have any exam-related documents on your table.” I mean is there really a need to inform us about that? We all know it’s a closed-book examination. Is it an effective method to deter anyone from cheating? “Ok. You got me. I am going to keep my notes away from the table now.”

Besides that, for all of the papers I’ve done, I have always struggle to finish them and I can’t help but to notice there’s some students who can leave the examination hall early. Ok they probably have finished their papers fast but are they really that confident they can find no mistakes at all? What is more important than passing up a good paper during this exam period? “Alright, I have to go now. I am actually late for a lunch appointment.”

Of course, I am delighted to see them leave early. “Go by all means. Don’t waste your time checking the papers. Enjoy yourself outside.”

Another thing is, without fail, there’s always people who need to go to the toilet. It’s something that has never occurred to me. I would want to maximize my time answering the questions to perfection and there are people who think they have all the time in the world to do so. Hello, when the clock starts ticking, we should unload the information from our brains and not the urea in your bladder.

What have they been drinking while doing the questions? 1.5 litres of coke? Everyone brings in their 500ml of water bottles and these people bring what? tumblers of water and go gulp, gulp, gulp? Or what kind of bladders do they have? Those with the size of a peanut? I don’t get it.

While I was in a deep thought of how to tackle the paper, I hate it when the examiner would go to the microphone and say things like, “Sorry for the interuptions but can you all please turn to question 39 on page 16? Take note that the unit “KG” should be in small letters, not capital letters.”

Of course we know all it should be in small letters!! Is there any difference anyway?!

Thanks for wasting 2 minutes of my time. And the worse part is the examiners do not compensate us for these interruptions. Firstly, the printing error is their mistake and then wasting our time disturbing our focused mental states in the exams and all at our expense!!

And when the time’s up, the chief examiner would order, “Pens down!” which all of us would oblige. I’ve noticed some students would put their pens down, then start flipping through their papers and checking through them. Isn’t it like the worst time to check your papers?

So what if you have found an error, is there anything you can do about it? Nothing. I say, just drop your pens, close your booklets and leave it to the examiners to collect them. You’ve done your best already, my friends.

There’s another incident when this ang-moh student left his whole OTA sheet blank and claimed to have written the MCQ answers in the booklet. Then I would pose him a question. “Do you think the OTA sheet is there for you to wipe your backside?”

-doubleU

Mouses?

2006-09-26T15:20:00.000+08:00

I don’t know if this sounds right, so maybe you can tell me.

There’s one time the mouse of my laptop is spoilt and I have to buy a new one. Then my sister said hers is becoming faulty too and asked if I could buy for her. Naturally, I have to agree.

I walked into a computer shop, found an assistant and asked her “You know where can I find some……………….. mice?”

Turtle

2006-09-05T18:55:00.000+08:00

On Monday, 4th September, a worldwide respected conservationist, Steve Irwin, died. He was stabbed through the heart by a stingray while filming.

Hours later, MSN users are advised to put a turtle icon in their nicknames as a form of paying respect to the deceased celebrity.

But a turtle??!

Is that the closest icon that can resemble him? Are you saying he is slow or blur-looking like that reptile? How about the snail icon? That's surely slower than the turtle.

For those who don't know him, Steve Irwin was a brave man. He dared to venture to places many don't. Maybe there should have a more closely related icon?

Why not use rose icon? At least, I know people give roses at funerals.

And why must we put icons on MSN this time to commemorate someone's death? Does it make any difference? Is this some trend coming along?

What if Angelina Jolie pass away? I think we should put the LIPS icon. Or Alex Ferguson, we can upload the DEVIL'S face. MSN has just found a new purpose for itself.

And some might ask, what is a Croc Hunter doing with a stingray? Mind you, he specialised in crocodiles but he knows alot about wildlife animals as well. It is purely an accident that this had happened. Another TV luminary gone from the face of the earth.

Of course, in MSN, there are some people who felt emotional about his death and left some messages of condolesence.

Here's some of them:

" to the wildlife warrior, we can make a difference"

" Crikey! I'm Gonna Miss Steve Irwin... He's left so much behind... Blessings~ "

" Let's chiong sting rays in Newton Circle to avenge the crocodile hunter!"

" Turtle Bat Cow Goat Dog Cat"

-doubleU

Great vision....

2006-08-21T01:27:00.000+08:00

During orientation, my OG is slacking while waiting for instructions for the next activity.

Then my OGL came.

" Hey people, I pass this form around. You just fill in your particulars, MSN, HP number etc."

And the form was circulated.

Soon it came to me. I used my left hand, picked up the pen and began writing.

Seeing that, my friend exclaimed " Wei De, you are a left-handed ah?"

A sigh followed. A look of helplessness flashed across my face. I am speechless.

" No, I am actually a right handed. I am only trying to write with my left hand and hey I can write it alot better!"

This is not the first time it happened to me. Of course being a leftie has it's perks and attention. But when it is obvious, you don't have to ask again.

Now I understand why this friend of mine ( let's call him Ben) hates to go out with his brother.

Ben does not like to stand beside his brother, let alone walking along Orchard Rd. No, not because both of them have a strong sibling rivalry. When they go out together, they invite stares from passengers. Fingers pointing and whispering surround them. It's as if they are circus animals parading in town. They are only normal human beings yet people find it amazing to see the 2 of them. Inevitably, this question will be raised.

" Hello, are you 2 twins?"

-doubleU

Role of a Defender

2006-07-26T02:11:00.000+08:00

From Producer: " Hey, are you ready? "

( W clears throat)..... "Lalalala.... Ok I am ready."

From Producer: "Alright 3, 2, 1 Action!"

From W: "As a defender, you give hard tackles to the strikers or midfielders.

By all means, you can even break their legs if needed.

You do not let them have a clear shot at goal. "

"As a defender, you challenge for all the balls in the air.

The ball is more important than your head.

In doing that, you destroy their plays.

Only then, they will only be restricted playing the ball on the ground."

" As a defender, you ...................... erm.....................

...................... shit..................................

( asks the photographer) why the picture like that?"

( the photographer shrugs)

" !$%#@...... Mmm.... As a defender, you............. er............ dance?

...............eh.................................. to distract your opponent?

Uh.................... Okay...................... I really don't what to say.

You just look at the picture and tell me. I quit! "

Scroll down

Do not stop scrolling, this is not a chain letter

-doubleU

PS: All the photos are grabbed from http://app.tabblo.com/studio/stories/view/91034 .

Friendster Part 2

2006-07-25T12:53:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks, I have joined a few freshmen orientation camps ( FOC). From there my pool of friends enlarged. Naturally my "friends" in Friendster increased too. I can't help but go and look at their friendster profiles.

Here's some shocking revelations:

1) Some of my juniors have so many friends! 400 plus! One or two of them have 2 accounts. Are those people really their friends? It's like they add practically anyone who they share the air with. In fact, some of the people in friendsters aren't close at all, what's the point of accepting their friends request?

2) My new friends have so many testimonials. What is a testimonial some might ask. Now I give it to you.

Courtesy of www.thefreedictionary.com

tes·ti·mo·ni·al, noun.
1. A statement in support of a particular truth, fact, or claim.
2. A written affirmation of another's character or worth; a personal recommendation.
3. Something given in appreciation of a person's service or achievement; a tribute.

Yeah right. Some of them have 180 plus alone. That's like half of the number of friends. To me, half of the testimonials are just messages. You will know what I mean. Let's take a look at some of the unconventional "testimonials" which I have came across.

Testi no1.
From Zoe to Lynn

ahhh.. i tthink i saw u.. yesterday at tm walking out of tm i mean.. i was going in.. =D

From W: Lynn, luckily you are not classmates with Zoe. If not you will get a testimonial from her everyday. " Hey i think i saw u in class today! I was inside too!"

Testi no2.
From May to Joan

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! may your christmas be filled with hugs and kisses!!!

much love, may :)

From W: Obviously somebody is trying to save up on her sms. If I know May, I will have 5 testimonials in 5 years and I haven't included those about Chinese New Year, Hari Raya and National Day etc. " Happy ____________ (insert festival name)! may your ___________( insert festival name) be filled with hugs and kisses!!! "

Testi no3.
From Kim to Patricia.

......-"'').)'"-......
.....(__(';')__)......
.......'..(")(")...'...
.........."-.,.-".........

hii frenn`!!*__.

`juuz.dr0pPin.by.
x-__.t0.lett.ya.n0ee.daat.
*__.`u.arre.n0rtt.f0rrg0ttenn.(/\_/\").
x-
__.gD luck in watever thing u do
>",<.

_./'\._.**..**...
*. .* * euu aree *sspecial* .*
/.*.\ ..**.,.**.*.

take care always. & smile always. =) (``__.fFrReNnSs.-x.*//

From W: This forwarded message tells us nothing about the Patricia. It simply shows that the Kim knows little about Patricia to send her this testimonial. Kim can send this to all her friends and they will be obliged to accept it anyway.

Testi no4.
From Jackson to Lisa.

Dropped

by

to

say

Hi!

From Lisa: Hi.

-doubleU

There are so many cyclops around!

2006-07-16T17:17:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, I took a bus trip to the airport to see a friend off to Down Under. Before the bus reached Terminal 1, it stopped at the security checkpoint. A policewoman looking very stern came up onto the bus. She scanned around while walking to the back, then she walked back to the front and out of the bus. The bus is now safe of any explosives.

What? Does she have some mutant powers or what?
" Yes, I have checked everyone's bags and the whole bus and I am sure there's no bombs in the vehicle because of my X-rays eyes!"

The bus halted at another security checkpoint before going to Terminal 2 again. This time a policeman came aboard. I suppose he is of a higher calibre mutant. The reason? He came up, said hello to the bus driver, glanced the whole bus from the front and stepped out of the bus later.

Yeah I know this might be his 876th bus that he has checked but please do it with more commitment. If I were a terrorist, I would have blown up the place without much difficulty.

It seems like the security at Kallang Stadium is even tighter than Changi Airport. Every spectator is ordered to open his bag and dispose of any plastic water bottles in sight before entering the stadium. Yes, plastic bottles.

I actually agreed with Mr Brown who labelled the SAF officers LTA Eye Power. Imagine at a training shed where the men are supposed to clean their arms and there's no superiors around. You can see some of them dozing off or basically slacking around. All it needs is one 2LT to stand in front of them, just using his eyes to look around and the efficiency would have gone up. If there is LTA Eye Power, then there should be PTE Wayang.

Of course, the magnitude of the eye power increases with the rank.

And this senario is not restricted to the SAF. It occurs in many places too. In a classroom without a teacher will be like a bustling market. An office without the manager will still be filled with keyboard typing noises, that is the employees chatting on MSN.

I have a soccer teammate who actually marks opponents with his eyes. His opponent would run out of his vicinity and got the ball. This friend of mine, with his eyes, looking at the opposition player with full of determination, hoped that the ball will be swept off his feet with his visual forces. I would really like to learn from him. He gave a whole new dimension to defending.

If he was playing the last man, he would have been marking the whole opposition team, with their keeper included.

-doubleU

Singapore in World Cup 2006 already!

2006-06-29T01:58:00.000+08:00

What Goal 2010? We already have representatives at this year's World Cup. Not only that, he is rated top of his domain. Check this out.

If he maintains his form, Singapore would probably garner some glory from this World Cup. An idea for our Minister of Sports maybe? To concentrate more funds training world class referees instead.

All the best Shamsul. We may not have the best players, but we do not underestimate our referees.

-doubleU

" Siao eh, don't give penalty!"

2006-06-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

Being an avid soccer fan, World Cup 2006 is definitely my most watched tv show now.

Any of you who watch the World Cup would have noticed that the referee has a mouth-piece taped on his cheeks. Its purpose is to have a seamless communication with his assistant referees, which include 2 linesmen and 1 more at the sideline.

But I think otherwise.

The party at the end of the line are not the referees. But who? The bookies. Probably the " World Bookies Association". They are the main factor contributing to all the controvesial decisions of late.

A classic example- Australia vs Croatia
When Josep Simunic received his second yellow card.
Bookie to the referee: "Oei Pol, Dun give him red card. Cannot let the Aussies win. Must play to a draw!"

Sumunic was not sent off despite having 2 yellow cards.

The referee went on to disallow a goal by Australia in the dying minutes. During injury time when the score was 2-2, something shocking happened.

Bookie: Eh.. Now you can send Sumunic off liao. We all win money today. Can pang kang liao.
Ref: But how should I do it?
B: Wah liew eh.. Give him another yellow card lah.

That's precisely what happened after that.

-doubleU

Minimal contact

2006-06-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

Guys, afraid of getting germs from the toilet?

Having a compulsive disorder for hygiene?

Thinking that even after you washed your hands, you have to pushed the bacteria-filled door to get out?

Now fear no more! Technology is now able to help you curb this obsession.

The modern toilet has been designed in a way that men can go in without touching anything other than yourself. ( No pun intended)

How?

Today, when a man goes to the gents, he would realise there's no doors at the entrance. Walls have been employed to pave the way to the toilet, while adequately blocking the view of the entrance from any inquisitive girls. He walks to the urinal. Obviously, the only thing he need to make contact with is his zip. And his underwear of course. Don't worry about not flushing. With the automated flushing system, the urinal will be flushed everytime a human being leaves his position.

After that, the man obeys the cardinal law of washing his hands even though he has merely touched his zip and undergarment. He simply leaves his hands below the tap and water rushes out in no time. No pushing or turning of the tap is required. Then, he goes to dry his hand under the established automated drying machine.

With all the necessary business completed, the man weaved out of the toilet and is pleased with himself that he is free from any virus.

-doubleU

LIVE 4D match

2006-05-31T01:55:00.000+08:00

Last week, I was working at Singapore Pools at Paradiz Centre. My job was to sell the World Cup Pre-paid cards. There, I witnessed something which I was largely bemused by.

At 6pm, a queue began to form up outside the branch. From their faces, they seemed excited. Some were chit-chatting away. Some looked like they were praying. All of them were relishing the idea of a favourable result. Looks like the stakes are high.

At 6.15pm, the doors opened. The horde of people scrambled in. A security guard was distributing pieces of paper for them to write on. Soon, the people were seated down and waiting eagerly for the moment to arrive.

At 6.30pm, the emcee went to 4 containers and poured 10 balls into each of them. It begun. The match kicked off.

All these millionaires wannabes came from 4 corners of the island for this! To watch a bevy of players wrestling and out-muscling one another to emerge the winner of the lot. It's even more nerve-wrecking than watch a real football match.

" Oh, looks like it's Ball 8 racing to the hole. He seems certain to win. Wait, Ball 7 is close behind him. Both of them are fighting with each other. Ball 7 now! NO, it's 8. 7! 8! 7!... "

" Yay!" screamed Ball 8, after it's reached the top of the container.

Then. it's thrown back into the container again.

Do these people have so much lack of trust in the radio deejays or newspaper editors, that they must go down all the way to the drawing lot room to witness the whole process themselves?

" Today's first prize is 5-1-8-...... Shit. The last digit looks like a one but it could be seven too. Oh no, sorry listeners, I have to confirm first."

The percentage attendance there was even better than a regular S-League match. Something similar about a S-League match is those without seats were stationed outside of the room to hear the result announcement from the speakers. To my suprise, the security guard was one of them too, writing every result on the piece of paper.

"You too?" I spouted out.
"Haha, just play for fun lah"

21 numbers were read out, it's now the last leg of the match. Who will be the biggest winner?

"Second prize, 2-5-2-4." One of the audience jumped up excitedly.

Ok, never mind, there's still the top prize.

" First prize, 7-..."
" Damn!" Someone cried from the crowd.
"6-1-0", the emcee finished.

Sighs filled the room. The sound of paper tearing echoed throughout the place. Shortly after, the crowd started to disperse. From their faces, you wouldn't know who lost. They appeared so calm, it could be they are so used to defeats. Most left the place and continued their normal lives, at the same time looking forward to the next weekend.

As the results travelled to the radios and newspapers, more betting slips will be torn. The losers, some will stop the game, some will continue. But for the day's winners, it's no doubt they will play more again.

Note: All the results in this script are fictional. Don't blame me if they don't win.

-doubleU

It's complicated.

2006-05-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

Frankly, I've always been an intrepid patron of Friendster.

Entering the home page, the first thing that catches my eyes is "Updated Profile".

Coz' you never know, people getting attached, detached, engaged or estranged. You get an update of your lives, even those you barely know of.

Something that will always make me wonder, what does "It's complicated" means? If you are single, you put "Single". If you are romantically linked to someone, you click " In a relationship". If you are close to getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, you still have to put "Single" no matter what. That's the rule. Same goes for couples who are having a cold war, you are still in a relationship.

So how complicated can someone's life get?? Especially when most of your friends are mere conservative JC graduates, who go on to lead normal predictable lives.

To me, you know what kind of people qualify to label themselves complicated? I'll tell you.

W's rule: Your life is considered complicated if you fall into these categories.

1. You are more than one girlfriends/boyfriends. ( Coz' there's no "In more than one relationships")

2. You are both married and in a relationship at the same time. ( eg. Heath Ledger's role in Brokeback Mountain)

3. Your domestic partner is not the one you married.

4. Others ( will be examined to my judgement)

To make things clear, friendster should have more options for us to choose from. Friends can get to know your current life without being confused at all. On the other hand, users should not mislead others with the incorrect descriptions.

Lately, I've also found out that some of my friends are already "Married", and I wonder why am I not invited to any of their wedding dinners.

-doubleU

Ovaltine....

2006-05-17T22:48:00.000+08:00

Ovaltine.....

Ever had them?

The tin is round. The mug is round.

It should be called... Roundtine...

After Down Under

2006-04-20T00:44:00.000+08:00

(turns on the TV)
(claps) (intro music)

(host walks to the front of the stage)

JS: Good evening everybody! Welcome to another night of Tonight with JS. Tonight, one of our guests is someone quite special. I am sure most of you know him. Some like him but most do not. Well, he is the blogger of http://www.risiblew.blogspot.com//. Recently it’s been very quiet in his blog. Where is this guy? What has he been doing? I am sure some fans of his blog would be curious to find out. Let’s welcome W!!!

(W walks out from behind the curtains and goes to shakes JS’ hand)

JS: Now take a seat.
W: Hey JS, thanks for inviting me. Congrats for your show for getting the most viewership everyweek. You are doing a great job, JS.

JS: Well, I must thank guests like you too.
W: Haha. Well….

JS: Yea. Now let’s start. One question that is one everyone’s mind now. Where have you been to?
W: Oh. I’ve been traveling around Australia…

JS(interrupting): Alone?
W: Nah. I was traveling with Edwin.

JS: Oooooh. Scandalous.
W: Haha. Of course it is nothing of that sort. Both of us signed up for this promotional trip by Quantas Airlines. So our tickets were cheaper. Not much. Each of us saves around $200. In the end the tickets were still quite ex coz' the airport tax there is like $200 plus, which is the most expensive in the world.

JS: (Cough) Wow. Ok. That's like daylight robbery! But how was the trip like?
W: Yea I expected you to ask that. It’s a good trip! It’s been an eye opener for me. The trip just made me feel that Singapore or rather me myself is so small on this Earth. I got to know lots of things from both the European travelers and the native people. My mind is enlightened after the trip.

JS: Wow. Sounds like I should go traveling sometime soon. Did you enjoy it?
W: Well. I do. As I have said, I have done lots of thinking during the journey. I kind of like the experience. But if you think my trip was full of luxury, 5-star hotels stay, continental breakfast, meals at high class restaurants, then you are wrong. Both of us have been scavenging for cheap eats or buffets. We rather walk 2 MRT stops just to save on the A$2.20. My life was basically like a nomad's in Australia.

JS: You mean you spend a $700 air ticket to go to Australia to live like a nomad!?! Are you out of your mind!?
W: First of all. The things there are, in Singapore context, ridiculously expensive. Say for a plate of fried rice cost like A$7.50 where as a Singaporean plate is S$3.00. You can see the huge difference here. Both of us were trying to save the money for traveling or sightseeing. Most of the food we get are from the Supermarket. Every new town we’ve been to, the first thing we will look out for it either COLES or Woolworths, the 2 highly competitive supermarts over there. The stuff can are pretty reasonable. My lunch can be a muffin and an apple and dinner would be instant noodles with a can of baked beans. Yea. That’s roughly my diet there. I slimmed down till my jeans slump down to below my hips. Now, to everyone out there, if any of you want to slim down, go backpacking in Australia.

JS: Haha. I think I should go for one too. But there’s the buffets.
W: Yea. Both of us realized we can’t survive long on merely apples and bread. So every 3 to 4 days, we’ll go for some buffet and gobble down as much food as we can. Edwin is like a nutritionist on the trip. He calculates the minerals and nutritents in the food we ate and will inform me what nutrients I lack of. Personally, I don’t mind have free consultations.

JS: Tsk. What a workaholic he is. One thing I want to ask on behalf of lots of Singaporeans out there. Did you face any racial discriminations over there?
W: Oh god no. In fact, Australia is so infested with Asians. Especially in Brisbane, every head-turn is an Asian in sight. I don’t think the locals dare to spout any racist remarks. They are surrounded by Asians! On the other hand, the natives there are friendly towards us. Maybe it’s because we are the ones fuelling their economy.

JS: Looks like Australia is becoming more like Asia. So what do you like most about Australia? I myself have been there before and I love the weather there. The air is so fresh!
W: Yup. The air here really needs purification. What I love most in Australia is the waves at the beaches. They are gigantic! It’s fascinating to me. The waves can reach as high as my height. With such waves, surfing will be fun too. It’s unlike the people surfing along East Coast Park where the most they can surf as far as 3 metres from the shore.

JS: Ha. Those people should find something better to do. W? You surf?
W: Yah? What’s wrong with that. It’s fun! Especially when you manage to stand on the board and the waves glide you. The wind blowing in your hair, as you do a pose. It’s not as easy as you see on TV. It takes a while before you know how to balance yourself on the board.

JS: Haha. I can’t imagine you surfing. You seem like a clumsy fellow.
W: You are right. I fell so many times before I could master standing on the surfboard.

JS: Being away for a long, do you actually miss home?
W: Yes a lot, especially when I was hungry most of the time. Miss the food back home. The first thing I ate when I touched down Singapore is a plate of chicken rice. Miss soccer and the people here. Singapore will always be my home. ( Starts to sing) This is home, truly. Where my senses tell me. This is where, I wouldn’t be alone…..

JS: Stop!! You ought to be considerate to the audience’s ears. I can imagine some of them changing the channels when you started singing.
W: Oh, I am sorry. I was too engrossed just now.

JS: Alright. So what’s next after this trip?
W: Well… I will find a job first I guess. I have to earn the money back and I want to go traveling again! I don’t know when will that be but I will try it again since it’s one of my dreams to travel around. Maybe Vietnam or Canada.

JS: Yup all the best to you. Thanks for coming to the show again. Everybody! W!
W: Thank you.
(both shake hands and the show goes into a break)

-doubleU

The Guards of the Seat

2006-03-14T06:30:00.000+08:00

The first thing that anyone who just boarded the bus will look out for is an empty seat. You can see the smiles of the people's faces upon discovering the seat. Without hesitation, they scamper to grab the seat. It's like playing musical chairs with strangers. Of course, this time the losers just have to endure their rides standing on fatigued legs.

The seat on our daily public bus is something all of us should be familiar with, unless you drive to school everyday. The inner seat is the one near to the window and the outer seat is nearer to the aisle. It is designed such that 2 human beings can get to enjoy resting their legs while travelling in the bus. Yet, sadly, not everyone knows this.

When I board the bus, I would notice some people sitting on the inner seat while others on the outer seat. Now why would anyone want to sit on the outer seat and leave the inner seat vacant? Do they have an invisible friend with them? No. Obviously these people want the whole seat to themselves, which really defeats the purpose of the design of the seat. This has been something prevalent in many of the bus trips I have taken.

Apparently, these inconsiderate bunch of people wants to be able to spread their legs as wide as possible or even perform the YoGa on the seat. By sitting on the outer seat, they act as an obstruction for others to get in. They are like security guards and you need to seek permission to share a seat with them.

" Hmm... Hello, excuse me, can I sit inside?"
" NO! Show me your pass first!"

Ok, I am just kidding. Naturally, they are obliged to let you sit with them. They either move in or shift sideways for you to enter the premises. At the same time giving you a complimentary frown on the face.

However, if in some cases when the bus is crowded with stinking people, and if you see a seat behind only occupied by one person, and if he has the size of Moses Lim, i would reckon it is better to leave him alone. It is more suffocating being squeezed by them than being stuck in the middle of perspiring army boys.

-doubleU

Things to ponder about

2006-03-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

How come Superglue does not stick to its tube?

By Now.......

2006-03-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

I have managed to catch the Campus Superstar Result show a few days back. I am truly amazed that the program's producers are able to plan a show, that has minimal content, to fit in a 30-min timeslot immaculately. A result show is unlike the talent show. It can last for 1 min or as long as half an hour. Obviously, the producers chose the latter. Here's some of the highlights of the show and methods the producers adopt to delay the whole process:

It was late in the night. The curtains went up, as we witnessed loads of screaming teenagers displaying posters of their Idols or mere friends. The 3 hosts appeared and invited the 5 contestants up on stage.

The hosts read through the names and the respective tag numbers of the remaining contestants. One by one, the contestants posed for the camera with their megawatt smiles and the "two fingers" hand signs. It was follwed by a recap of their performances earlier on and the judges' comments.

Soon, it's the moment we have been waiting for; the result. The contestants could not hide their nervousness. Armed with clenched fists and stiff bodies, thet stood in the middle of the stage as if an accused waiting for the verdict. Then it was one of the girls who took the initiative and interlocked arms with her neighbour contestants. With that, all of them were instantly reminded to appear like good friends instead of competitive rivals. They held hands, assuring each other that they will definitely go through, when what was going through their mind is just the reverse. Lights were dimed, spotlights centralised on the girls, everyone was riveted to their TV screens. It was the moment. Then one of the hosts grinned and said " We'll be back after this break!"

That was also when I took the remotely control and almost smash the host's face with it.

The show returns. The 3 familiar computer screens began flashing the contestants' faces randomly until they stopped with each displaying the same photo. " It's F2, Imm Kim!!" ( Oh yes, give that shocked face. I bet you did not expect to go through either). Imm Kim said her thank-you speech before her her fans go wild with her cheer.

Now, the hosts read through the names and the respective tag numbers of the remaining contestants. One by one, the contestants pose for the camera with their megawatt smiles and the " two fingers" hand signs. You can see how this process repeats time after time. 4 contestants became 3 remaining. Then it's down to 2. They are Geraldine and Yvonne. Without even feeling a tinge of surprise, Junyang said " You'll find who's going through after the commercials"

2 bodies were standing shakily on stage. Both of them looked solemn and even when the cameras zoomed in on their faces, their lips struggled to form a smile. Wide eyes staring in space, one pondered " How am I going to face my friends in school tomorrow if I am out?" while the other thought " How should I react if I go through?" Awkwardly, they interlocked each other's arms. Computer screens started to flash their pictures and the audience held their breath while anticipating for the final result.

"Geraldine, you are through!" exclaimed JunYang. The survivor seemed stunned for a while and broke into a glum face while Yvonne could only afford to smile gently. They remembered and hugged each other. Yvonne stayed to say her good-byes and Geraldine went to join her fans. Yvonne was still smiling, yet lines of her lips began to curve downwards. Tears gathered at the bottom of her eyes, only she restraining them to fall. DesmondKoh patted her back to comfort her, at the same time urging her fans to give a cheer for her. The show ended at the end of the 30 minutes.

The show could have been much shorter. Just imagine Sugiato is standing alone on stage. He takes out a card from an envelope, which he has been holding all along and read out, " Good evening, I know you are all eagerly awaiting for the results to be announced. Here it is. It's a close battle between the contestants. They all have done well. But, one of them will have to be eliminated for obtaining the lowest score. She is (with no sounds of drums rolling at all) Yvonne. The rest are through to the next round. Congrats to them. Ok. Goodnight everyone!"

That should fit the 1-min timeslot perfectly.

Things to ponder about

2006-02-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

Why do sky divers wear helmets?

14th Feb

2006-02-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

Well.. Happy V day to all the couples out there!! Hope you all are enjoying yourself. To all the lonely hearts out there. Don't worry, i haven't forgotten about you. Happy Friendship Day!!

Friendship day is another name for v day, isn't it? It must have been created by some genius out there. This guy is probably a single then. He didn't want to be left out on that day. Eventually everybody gets to celebrate this day, unless you are friendless.

It is also a splendid excuse to ask people out on the 14th Feb.
A BOY to B GIRL: Hi... are you free on the 14th?
B GIRL: Why?
A BOY: It's friendship day!! Aren't we friends?
B GIRL: Ya that makes sense. Where should we go to? Are our other friends coming along?
A BOY: Nah. They are not free. I know of a place that is cool........

Many people look forward to this day. Florists are a few of them. It is the day flowers can have their moment of glory. They are more important than anything else on that day. Flowers can cost more than a bomb. Guys give girls flowers on a few occasions. V days, anniversaries, funerals. Flowers are really a girl's best friend. Maybe after Diamonds. And Shoes. And Bags.

Boyfriends become stressed when this day approaches. It is like a boyfriend- assessment day to them. Every year, they have to go through this test. They dressed to their best. Ordered the flowers 3 months in advanced. Reserved a table for 2 at their girlfriend's favourite restaurant. Nothing is to fail. It is a day to impress. For those who failed, they will be condemned and labeled as a F-grade boyfriend. " Well, William, you performed less than acceptable for your last test. You have to serenade your girlfriend in public to redeem yourself."

Nonetheless, loving someone does not restrict to 14th Feb. Everyday should be viewed as a day to love and care and everyone ought to be treated the same way as on Friendship Day.